BARNEY CONTEST STORIES!!!!!

THANKS EVERYONE WHO ENTERED THE EMAIL CONTEST FOR BARNEY TICKETS AND BACKSTAGE PASSES. THE CUTEST OR CRAZIEST THING YOUR PRE-SCHOOLER HAS EVER DONE OR SAID!!!!

I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE STORIES AND FEEL FREE TO POST ADDITIONAL STORIES








"First off, let me say that I have the smartest and most grown acting child ever! Charity turned 3 years old on April 4. She has been talking good since she was 10 months old. Whenever we are around people I am always on edge because I am not sure what she will say next. She uses phrases just out of the blue like “this is ridiculous” and “this makes me aggravated” and it is hilarious. She has facial expressions and all to go along with it. Her favorite character of all is Barney. She knows all of the Barney songs. The most recent song she has learned off of Barney is Old Dan Tucker. I heard her singing the song but I had not paid close attention to the words she was using. So when we got to Maw Maw’s house I told my mom, she can sing Old Dan Tucker. So Charity started singing. She says “Old damn sucker was a fine old man…” Just as plain as anything. We looked at each other and covered our mouths. I said, “Charity, sing it right.” She then says, “Old Damn _______” (She replaced the T in Tucker with an F.) We couldn’t help but to turn our heads away from her and just laugh!!! The weird thing is, She has never ever heard the F word and we don’t use the D word, so it was just an honest mistake, but a funny one that I will never forget!!!

Julie, Columbus Winner 09-26-06

Winner Monday, September 25th, 2006

Hi Wild Bill! I heard about your funny preschool story contest and wanted to tell you about my son's adventure! One day over the summer, the kids and I had come inside from out at the pool. My 3 year old son was sent to his room to get changed from his swimsuit into dry clothes. He had been in his room for about 10 minutes when he emerged with a surprise! Instead of getting dressed, he had discovered a new way to carry his plastic pliers from his tool belt...yep, he was proudly dangling them from his 'little boyhood'! He called, "Mom, look what I can do!" My surprised reply was, "Oh Buddy, doesn't that hurt"(as I tried to stifle a laugh)..."No, but it pinches a little", he replied. "I think I'll put them back in my tool belt". Not before I could snap a picture 'for posterity'! Ps. Dylan LOVES Barney, and promises to leave his tool belt at home!

Donna Potteiger, Ellerslie, GA

Winner Tuesday September 26th, 2006

My entry for the Barney tickets...

My son is four years old and has reached the age I have heard many other mom's talk about- the age where their innocence can create many incredibly embarrassing moments for their parents. The one that sticks out in my mind is the Wal-Mart incident...

Not to sound conceited, but I have a very attractive 4-year old son. I often hear, "What a handsome young man, etc" from perfect strangers- particularly from elderly men. As we stood in Wal-Mart one day, one of these elderly men walked up to our buggy and made this same comment. He then precedes to ask my son if he would like to come home with him, etc. The man was just making friendly conversation. As the man is talking, my son notices that he is missing probably half of his teeth and the ones that are left are terribly stained and broken. So in response to the man's friendliness, my son looks up at him as innocent and serious as can be and says really loudly (so everyone around can hear), "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU TEETH?" Mortally embarrassed, I stand there with my eyes as big as gold balls waiting for the man's response. Instead of simply walking away the man answers, "Yeah, they're pretty messed up. I should go ahead and pull them all out, huh?" My son turns to me with a confused look and the man turns and walks away. To this day I wonder what the nice old man must have been thinking after the incident. This is a day I will definitely never forget.


Andrea George, Box Springs, GA

Winner Wednesday September 27th, 2006

"Hello I have an 18 month old little boy that is in to everything. The other day I told my daughter which is 11 to go and bath her stinking dog which is a 3 pound yorkie-poo. I was sitting on the couch watching tv and I heard the dog crying and making a lot of noise. I jumped up and ran down the hall to find out where she was and my little boy had her in the toliet bowl saying bath. He had my lotion open and pouring it on the dog. I couldn't get mad at him cause he was trying. All I could do was laugh. Poor dog was soaked."

Kelly Strothers, Columbus,

Winner Thursday, September 28th 2006

Wild Bill

I have a 3 year old little boy that LOVES Barney and really needs to go to the concert so Barney can help teach him good manners and to help him understand that little girls always go first.

My son Avery really needs Barney’s help. Let me first start off by saying that we try our best at home to teach him good manners, to share, and that girls are always first and that’s just the way it is. Well, my child continues to insist that boys always go first. Avery’s maw-maw watches him during the week along with his three year old little girl cousin. Avery tries to be very controlling to her and insists that he is the boss and wants to always be first at everything. Everything that she wants to play with, he suddenly has the desire to play with it more. Even if it’s a baby doll, he’ll try and take that away from her. When they’re playing house and she says she’s the mommy, Avery tells her “no, I’m the mommy and you’re the daddy”. I’m sure you can imagine by now how chaotic it must be for maw-maw. I can’t believe she hasn’t quit on me already. Anyway, he is very dominating and jealous of his little cousin and seems to always be in a competition. What is it about boys and competing? From getting his hands on a toy first, finishing meals first, buckling in seatbelts when they go somewhere first, going outside to play first, hugging maw-maw first, and even going down for a nap first(which maw-maw appreciates). The list goes on and on as you can imagine.

However, there is one other thing that I have got to break him from…..competing for the potty.

Yep, as soon as his little cousin decides to go potty guess who’s racing right behind her in a rage because he wants to get to the potty first shouting “boy’s first, boys first! She can be sitting on the potty in the middle of taking care of her business and that doesn’t stop the bully. He drops his pants and aims it right between her legs into the toilet, and shouts, “boys first, boys first, I beat you”. And he usually does. I don’t know why he acts like this towards her but it has got to stop. He’s even pushed her off of the toilet before. And yes, maw-maw steps in on most of these incidents but not without hearing Avery screaming and shouting “boys first, boys first, I beat you, I beat you.” I would love to win these Barney tickets for my son so Barney can hopefully teach him good manners and to share and that girls ARE always first. Maybe he’ll listen to Barney.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. It’s all true and I could go on and on with examples of my child’s ‘boys first’ attitude, but I’ll stop for now.

Have a great day!

Shannon Robinson,

Winner Friday September 29th, 2006

"WE HAVE A LITTLE BOY HE JUST TURNED THREE ON AUGUST 31ST, HE'S BEEN TALKING A WHILE AND ALWAYS VOICES THE THINGS HE DOES OR DOSN'T WANT , OR LIKES AND DISLIKES, THEY SEEM TO LEARN THIS FAST. ONE OF HIS FAVORITE FOODS IS CHICKEN AND FRIES, HE CALLS THEM CHICKIE-FRIES. EVERY TIME WE GO THROUGH A DRIVE THRU HE'S HOWLING IN THE BACKGROUND, CHICKIE-FRIES LADY, ANDERSON WANTS CHICKIE-FRIES. MY DAUGHTER BOWLS ON A BOWLING LEAQUE ON SATURDAY MORNINGS, ONE SATURDAY A FEW MONTHS AGO, WHEN ANDERSON WAS ABOUT 2 1/2,HE GOES UP TO THE SNACK COUNTER AT THE BOWLING ALLEY, STANDING ON HIS TIP TOES HE'S YELLING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS ,"HEY LADY, HEY LADY ANDERSON NEEDS CHICKIE-FRIES". I GO AND GET HIM AND I APOLOGIZE TO THE LADY THATS WORKING, AND TAKE HIM OVER TO WATCH HIS SISTER BOWL. I TURN AROUND TO TELL MY DAUGHTER GOOD JOB ON HER BOWLING AND SHES DOING GREAT, I LOOK BACK FOR HIM AND DON'T SEE HIM, I HEAR SOMEONE SAYING NO! NO! BRING THAT BACK, I LOOK IN THE DIRESTIONS OF THE SNACK BAR AND THERES MY LITTLE GUY, HE HAS HELPED HIS SELF TO A PLATE THAT WAS ON THE COUNTER, BEFORE I COULD GET TO HIM , HE TURNS AROUND AND SAYS IN HIS CUTE LITTLE BOY VOICE "THANK YOU LADY, ANDERSON NEEDS SOME CHICKIE-FRIES". OF COURSE THEY WE'RE SOME ELSES, THE LADY AT THE COUNTER LOOKS AT ME A SAYS I THINK HE GOT HIS CHICKEN AND FRIES. NEEDLESS TO SAY I HAD TO PAY FOR THEM, YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT I NEVER FED HIM AND I'M SURE THATS WHAT EVERYONE STANDING AROUND THOUGHT ALSO.THANK YOU FOR READING IT.

LORI HARREL AND ANDERSON."

"Hello!

My daughter is 19 months old and a trouble maker, but at the same time she is a very friendly child. She says hello to everyone. Well, she goes to work with my everyday, and for the past two days we had a computer tech in the office putting in a new system. The first day, she told him hey, he say hey and she was fine. Well, yesterday we go into work, she says hello, and he was busy working and ignored her, she repeated herself and he did the same thing, by this time she is very upset. She walks up to him (which by the way he is squated down opening a box) and shw yells " Hey MAN" and hits him right between the legs. No need to tell you from then on when she said hey, he quickly replied hey! I was mad at her but all I could do was laugh."



Ashley Cummings, Columbus GA

AS MOST PARENTS I AM PARTIAL TO ALL MY CHILDREN. MY OLDEST BEING 15, MY MIDDLE CHILD BEING 11,

AND THEN OF COURSE MY BABY BEING 3 (GOING ON 30). WE NEVER KNOW WHAT SHE IS GOING TO SAY OR DO ATANY GIVEN MOMENT SO TO SAY SHE KEEPS US ON OUR TOES IS TO PUT IT MILDLY. A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO
WE WERE GETTING READY TO GO SWIMMING. I TOLD AVERI TO GET UNDRESSED SO I COULD PUT HER SWIMSUIT ON HER SO WE COULD GO, SHE PRECEDED TO DO AS I HAD TOLD HER TO BUT BEFORE I COULD GET HER COMPLETELY UNDRESSED AND INTO HER SUIT SHE LOOKED AT HER DADDY AND SAID….”CLOSE YOUR EYES DADDY CAUSE THIS AIN’T GONNA BE PRETTY!!!”

ASHLEY CANTRELL

Good morning Wild Bill...

My 18 month old son Hunter has discovered his turkey and want keep his diaper on. We have been trying to potty train him. A few weeks ago I was in the laundry room washing clothes and Hunter comes in there holding a diaper in his hand. I took it from him and told him to stay out of the trash can. I went back to the couch and started watching TV. Hunter was playing by the entertainment center and I noticed him kissing and licking the bottom shelf of the entertainment center. I thought he could see his reflection through the glass on the shelf. I tried to get him to give me a kiss but he wouldn't come to me. I thought he was just playing. His older sister was coming down the hall and slipped. She said, "Mom there is water in the floor and it smells." I then thought maybe Hunter has got a hold of someone drink and spilled it. As I was getting up Hunter is walking towards me and slip and falls with his legs spreaded wide open. All I could see was his turkey shinning up under his long wet Barney T-shirt. Come to find out he has pee peed on the bottom of my entertainment center and floor. His hair, face and shirt was soaked.

He is getting better with his training. Monday night I was getting onto the dog for peeing on the floor and not her pee mats. Hunter was watching as I was cleaning up the mess and fussing at the dog. I put Hunter in the tub and when I got him out, he took off running as I was trying to get myself dressed. I walked into the living room and he was standing on the dogs pee mat peeing. I couldn't get mad at him cause at least he got on the mat instead of my floor. He kept saying ook ook mom while he was clapping. He is all BOY.

Thank You,
Kelly From Phenix City

PS I promise to duck tape Hunter diaper so he want pee on ARNEY. That's what Hunter calls Barney.

Hello Wild Bill,

so here goes my story: When I moved here in this summer, my 2yr old son and I decided to go to the pool and while I was talking to another mom with another 2yr old, we let them play together to discover that they had undressed themselves seconds later and were running around in their "Adam's Suit" while an employee from the Apartment Complex came and advised us, that our children would not be allowed naked on this property, so while the other Mom and I were chasing our naked boys around the pool and even that employee tried to catch them (believe it or not: 2 yr olds reach an amazing speed when you can't run because you're laughing so hard at 2 little naked booties being chased by 3 adults). Finally we got their shorts back on and they were only allowed 2 feet away from us in order for us not get arrested for Indecent Exposure ;-) Hope that made you laugh and if we win tickets, I'll promise to put suspenders on my son's pants so he can't take them off while we're visiting Barney.

Have a nice day

Mandy Mayer

My daughter is only 20 months old and doesn't talk much butI relate my hasband as my child too, so this story is about him and my daughter. This summer we took a trip to the beach, you know how every time you go to the beach you see people out there with metal detectors finding money and things? Well, my husband and his friend thought it would be soooo funny to throw change in the sand and watch how excited this ( not to mention elderly man) would get. So they did it but not only them they decide to put my 18 month old daughter and his 16 month old son up to it too. So you have 4 kids throwing money in the sand and sitting back and watching a older man find it and they laughed so hard. It was a situation where I turned my head but was dying laughing too. So we would love to take those kids to see Barney. Thanks!

Ashley Cummings
Columbus Georgia

When I was about 5 years old my mother got on to me for picking my nose. She told me to stop and my response was that I had to pick my boogie's so I could plant it in the ground to grow a boogie man. She did not know where I got that from, but she still kids me about it today (31 years later). Now you know where Boogy men come from.

Thanks!

Joel Wells Johnston

Howdy Wild Bill!

Thought I'd share a story with you from my little guy. He's 2 years old. Seems that a few weeks ago we had a 'visitor' of the lizard variety (actually, I think they're called skinks, but I'm not sure....) in our master bedroom. I had seen it earlier in the day and tried unsuccessfully to wrangle the thing out of there, but it went under the dresser and refused to budge. So, I left it to rot.

Later on, I walked into the bedroom to get something, and came face to foot with the little bugger (his face, my feet). He was just making his way out from under the bed and we had a staring contest for a second or two. I called my son, Ben, in there to see it. Of course, Ben runs straight toward it, causing said lizard/skink to high-tail it back under the bed. Well, great.

Not easily offended, Ben got down on his hands and knees, pulled up the bed skirt and said, " Wizzard!! Where ARE jew???". Then, "Wizzard!! COMMEEERRRE!!!". Had I not recently emptied my bladder, I probably would have at that point..... I just wish we'd had a camera taping at that time....mighta won something on America's Funniest Home Videos!

Never caught the wizzard, by the way.
Just thought I'd share, whether you use it or not. Have a great day!

Teri Grant (and Ben Grant ~ and the wizzard, bless his soul), Midland GA

"I have a little boy that will be 2 tomorrow(Sunday the 24th). He does alot of funny and cute things, but one stands out among the rest. Well here is his cute story. Caleb and me(mommy) were in our backyard, Caleb was playing while I was doing yard work and cleaning up. He was doing the usually things like playing with rocks and running around with our 2 boston terrier dogs. I saw him sitting in the grass playing with rocks and didnot think anything about it until he called for me. And from a little distance I saw him holding up something for me and thought oh he is giving me his rocks. Well when I went over to him I realized it was not rocks he was holding, it was dried dog poop. He had a piece in each hand. He was happy as can be and didnot think anything was wrong. I grabbed my camera and took a picture. And then I took him and immediately washed his hands and told him that was gross. I think this story is funny and cute. I even have pictures to prove it. I hope that you pick our story so Caleb and I can go see Barney. He loves Barney so much, and it would really make his 2nd Birthday really special. "

Thank you,

Tiffany Jaros

Mother of Caleb

Dear Wild Bill,

"Lets hope that this story is funny enough to get my son tickets to see Barney Live. My two and a half year old son and I were out running errands last week and I smelled something that made me think that he had gone potty in his diaper. We are trying to potty train, so I asked him if he had gone poo-poo. He looks at me and says "not yet". I smile because I think that is too cute and we move toward the checkout. He turns to me grabs my arm and screams as loud as he can " I said I didn't go poo-poo yet mommy". Mortified I didn't know whether to ignore him or walk the other way. There were about a dozen people in line and I am bright red and pretending that I have things under control. I am finally at the register and he turns to the lady and smiles at her and says "I didn't go poo-poo yet". Obviously a woman with no personality, she didn't blink and ignored him. Since she ignored him, he turns and tells every person either walking by or near him that he had not gone poo-poo yet and he goes potty on the big potty. He turns around to me and I can barely look at the people around me and says "I went poo-poo now mommy. I'm stinky" I had about 10 people laughing at me as I walk away from that store. I think it will be a long time before I can show my face there. I am sure that everyone knows when and where my child uses the bathroom now. To make the story even funnier is when I got home I told my husband what had happened and my husband asked him "did you potty in your diaper?" My son looks at my husband points his finger at the television and says "watch TV daddy, I'm not stinky" Oh the joys of parenthood. Hope you enjoyed the story."

Have a good one,

Erica Wagner

Hey Wild Bill,

"My name is Debbie Khoury and my 3 year old daughter is Samantha. We listen to you every morning and love your show! You do a great job of waking me up in a great mood and for that my whole family is grateful. Here is my story:

As I entered my fourth and final pregnancy, I thought I was prepared for all the physical changes pregnant women experience. However, this time I developed new growth of fine, downy-like hair along my arms, tummy, and a little on my face. I thought it wasn't very noticable to anyone else, until one day as I strapped my 3 year old into her car seat and the sun glinted off the hair, she announced, "Mommy-you have feathers!" I guess it WAS noticable after all!""

Thanks!
Debbie Khoury

Hey Wild Bill,

I hope this is crazy enough to win. My daughter once cut her hair and then she tried to put it back together with bandaides I was brushing her hair when I found all of them there.

Thanks,

Jana Duke

When we moved here last year i didn't realize how big college football was here. We were walking in the mall one day just so happens LSU was playing Georgia on that day. My son was wearing his LSU outfits and an adult walked up to him and told him he was wearing the wrong clothes and he needed a Georgia outfit. Then he stated barking. I was just in shock that and adult would say something like that to a three year old. But my son stood his ground and stuck his hand in the guys face and said GO LSU and walked around the guy. We just stood there and laughed. It was one of the funniest thing I had ever seen because the guys looked so shocked. My son was so proud of him self he couldn't wait to get home to call and tell his Paw Paw what he had said.


Sincerely,
Megan Palermo

Hey, Wild Bill!!

I wanted to tell you about a funny thing that my three children did…I have a 3 year old little boy and 17 month old twin boys. One morning I was doing laundry and the boys were playing in the play room, or so I thought. When I realized that things were VERY quiet, I started through the house to find them. As I rounded the corner, I heard giggles, which any mom knows means big trouble…Much to my surprise (which really shouldn’t surprise me anymore…) my three boys were lined up in a row sitting inside my fireplace! They had gotten through the screen and were all sitting there grinning from ear to ear, faces covered in black soot. The only white that you could see were their eyes and the few teeth that the twins had…I couldn’t help but laugh!!

Hope you got a laugh out of it… we sure did!

Kim Webb

My son's name is Trey, I could tell you stories all day long that would make you laugh.
anyway, the one thing that sticks out in my mind, is when he was in kindergarden. The principal calls me at work, 2nd day of school year mind you. Please come and pick your child up, he is suspendid for 3 days. What in the world did he do I ask, He tells me you will see when you get here.
Apparently, Trey did not raise his hand to ask a question, The teacher said that he had to sit at his desk, while the other children gathered in a circle on the carpet for storytime. The teacher must have really not been paying attention, because just as each child went back to sit in their desks, they all felt something very wet, Trey had taken elmers glue, and put a large amount in each seat, when I got to his classroom, all the kids were showing me their
pants with the big glue spot, look at what Trey did, they said, I was trying so hard not to laugh, However it was very funny, and elmers glue did not ruin their clothes or hurt anyone, but I had to act upset with him for doing that. anyway just thought I would share that with you.

Thanks

Kelly Wade

One summer evening, Madison and her Grandmother were sitting outside watching the sun go down. They talked about bugs and trees and the colors of the changing sky.



Madison starred up into the sky as the sun started to disappear and the moon began to slowly appear.
“Wake up puddy moon” Madison said.


Grandmother saw that Madison was thinking really hard about something as she looked up at the moon. “What are you thinking about?” asked Grandmother.


Madison asked “Do you have a big, big, big, big, big ,big, big, big big, ladder so I can go get that puddy moon and play with it?” Every time Madison said “big, big, big” she stretched her arms out as far back as they could go and she studied the moon.



“No”, said Grandmother,” I do not have a ladder that tall.” Then she explained to Madison that the
Moon was very far away. “Then I will go ask Grandfather” said Madison .

So she went inside the house. Grandfather was watching a baseball game on t.v. Madison asked
“Grandfather, do you have a big, big,big,big,big,
ladder so I go up to the moon? I want to play with that puddy moon.”” Grandfather laughed and said “No, I don’t have a ladder that big.” Madison said
“You aren’t supposed to laugh at little girls when they have good ideas.”


Then Madison crossed her arms over her chest and said” Well, I’ll just pray about this then!” and she did.
Madison put her hands together and closed her eyes and said
“Dear God, Please, please ,please take that puddy moon down and let me play with it. Thank you. Amen”
Then she went to play.


Grandfather and Grandmother wondered what to say to Madison because they knew that God would
not take the moon down for her. Grandmother said” She really believes that God is going to give her the moon, I hope she will forget about this idea.”


Soon Madison ’s’ Mommie came to pick her up. When Madison went outside to go to the car, the sky was dark. There was no moon in sight. Madison looked all around in the dark yard. “Where is it?” she asked?” and she ran to look behind the house.

She did not find the moon. Where had it gone? A cloud had come across the night sky and covered the moon, but only for a little while. Soon she could see that the moon was still in the sky. “Oh man!” Madison said, “God didn’t hear me pray!”



Grandmother told Madison that God always hears our prayers and He always answers them. “He didn’t let me play with that puddy moon” said Madison sadly. Grandmother knew that Madison was disappointed so she hugged her and told her that God wants us to share the beautiful moon with the whole world. People all over the world can look up at the night sky and see how glorious the moon is. God made the moon for everyone!


Then Madison suddenly understood. Grandmother told Madison that when she was a little girl, her Grandmother would take her outside to watch the sun go down. She and her Grandmother would wait to see the moon together too. Then she told Madison that she and her Grandmother would say these special words together.

“I see the moon and the moon sees me! God bless the moon and God bless me!”
Madison laughed because she had never thought about her Grandmother being a little girl and having a Grandmother too. “You had a Grandmother too?” she asked “Yes, I did!” said Grandmother and she loved me almost as much as
I love you!”

The End

Written by Rebecca Harris

Copywritten August 15th, 2006